Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
