someone owes me an orgasm
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
