Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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