It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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