I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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