So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
