somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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