there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
