Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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