is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
