I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
