Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
