i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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