i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
