Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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