I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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