the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize