Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just cut my nipple shaving
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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