so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
