This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
