And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
