youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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