don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
