your room smells of hookers.
And success
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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