Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
