yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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