You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.