You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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