Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
