she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
