I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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