kristin has been a bad kristin
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
