if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
