Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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