I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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