No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
