i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
