when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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