If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
