Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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