Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
