Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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