Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize