I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
