My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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