can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
