I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
