did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
