just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
