Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
