I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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