im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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