She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
