Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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