The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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