remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
