Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
