I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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