I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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